D is for DEEP PURPLE: MACHINE HEAD 1972

Oh Lydia, Lydia, Lydia…can I dance on your freedom carpet?

Last time on Drunken Vinyls we discovered that David Cameron, our esteemed leader, had been searching for the young soul rebels under his bed. Or was it the theme from Shaft? In any case, in order to do so, he had to come back to Number Ten from his holiday in Pontypridd, Cornwall. But as he has said himself: ‘In order to deliver the young soul rebels you have to have VISION'. Whatever that means. Most people seem to think that he’d have trouble delivering the post.

Anyway - moving on - we were…irked… this week to find that a whole day of Radio 5 live – which we at Dee Vee keenly follow – was given over to the liberation of Libya. This was quite frankly, in itself, intensely boring but was made worse when somebody pointed out to Radio 5 Live that Libya hadn’t actually been liberated at all until next week, making their ejaculations somewhat premature.

Don’t misunderstand us. We, here at Bourre Vinyles (Fnarr Fnarr) want to party, on that small bit of liberated palatial carpet, as much as the next man – or woman. It’s just that the constant carping on the airwaves of ‘Libya Libya Libya’ reminded us of the extremely crap Dean Friedman and his signature tune ‘Lydia, Lydia, Lydia.’ Well thanks a bunch, 5 Live, for reminding your listening public of his continued existence. ‘Well, well,’ said the rocking chair? Fuck off, Dean. He – and we - can thank his lucky stars that Radio 5 are not as smart as they’d like to think they are.

In other developments this week, Robbie Elliot moved to Geordie land whilst a million Gooners cry into their pints. Ahahaha.

So it goes. Join us now – future-kind - for our serious historical attempt to review all vinyl releases in the world ever since 1955, starting at A and ending at Z. The rules are simple and if you don’t know them by now, you will never never know them. Join in! Get out your record players, slap on your vinyl and get drunk with us as we give you: D

D is for DEEP PURPLE

MACHINE HEAD

No, you lovely foolish text addicts, not that sort of smiling-sticking-tongue-out D, so beloved of you, oh simple ones, this D is from something called the Alphabet. From a time when mankind had to read. You have NO VINYL, you say? No record player? You don’t OWN Machine Head by the Purpleoids? Then all is lost, lost.

Oh well. Scroll down and you can see some footage of Deep Purple performing Highway Star – their second number one single, successor to ‘Orville’s Song’ – on Top of the Pops back in 1937. It’s a cracker. What’s 'Top of the Pops'? Now we’re getting cross. Sod off and text somebody, why don’t you.

Those of you still with us, don’t be shy, slap your black on the table, crack a can and enjoy the voyage with us. We’ll review each track, musically and critically and - ultimately - come to an overall judgement as to its impact on history. And just while you’re setting up, let’s look at the backstory, shall we?

WHAT’S THE STORY?

DEEP PURPLE: MACHINE HEAD

 

It’s a truly fascinating tale from genesis to conception. Turns out that some mother with a flare gun set fire to the studios so they retreated to a safe distance and watched it all go to blazes. Richie Blackmore said something to Ian Gillan. I think it was ‘I’ll tear her all to pieces!’ but that might have been their bassist, Othello. Roger Glover nodded sagely and as for Robert Plant, well it turns out he wasn’t even there! He was off with some other outfit at the time called ‘Brotherhood of Man’ in the Eurovision Song Contest singing ‘Oh oh, Figaro, he’s got magic-o-o’. We’re fairly sure he wasn’t even in bloody Deep Purple.

This being not the case, we can’t say we really care and move onto more important issues such as – why are they giving away free packs of pencils in Wetherspoons anyway? And second: why are they giving away free packs of pencils in Wetherspoons? It’s a pub. I pinched a couple of packets anyway in case I needed some appeasement pencils. Does that make me a Hoodrat?

SIDE 1

Highway Star

Turn the bass up. This bassline was stolen from ‘So Glad to See YOU here’, by Wings. It throbs like a good un and… WE’RE OFF. By the way, make free with the video – play LOUD, mind, it’s good for your ears. What do they mean, ‘Ain’t nobody gonna steal my car?’ Haven’t they seen the UK  riots of last week? Oh, now – you see Roger Glover and Ian Paice were classically trained musicians hence the noodling during the bridge which we are now enjoying. The lyrics are poor at best, though. Back to basic thievery again on this one – either steal his girl or car and you'll be duffed in, or raced, or something – make your mind up, Gillan. Of course, those of you with musical memories will remember ‘New Orleans’ by Gillan. A different band, but we wonder if there actually is a connection, and we will have to look that one up. Double trouble there, perhaps…oh ahahah.

VIDEO: The DEEP PURPLE perform HIGHWAY STAR on TOP OF THE POPS circa 1937. Click PLAY.  Play LOUD. Turn it up to ELEVEN!

Maybe I’m a Leo

Still the Notting Hill carnival – what’s that about, eh? We didn’t see Hugh Grant the last time we went. Tourists looking for a stupid English FOP who owns a bookshop are in for a rude awakening should they be foolish enough to venture there, we can tell you.

Basic grinding twelve bar blues as ‘any fule no’…oh ahahaha again. Shucks.

Pictures of Home

Of course here in Cornwall we have just had our own very similar festival on the piazza – we call it ‘Fishermen’s Pride’ and, every summer, it consists of 40 to 50 dubious types jumping up and down blowing whistles for a bit. But where we live there’s only a small street or two, so by the time they’ve come round for the fifth time they stink. There are only so many rods and hooks you can take, you know, and besides they’re a pretty duff bunch when all is said and done. Not one of them can play an instrument. Well one or two can play with an instrument but that’s quite enough of that, thank you. Dab hand on the old whistles, though and when it comes to jumping up and down, they’re second to none. Useful – should you ever require jumping, whistling nitwits. As my great great grandma used to say: ‘After three days, fish and visitors stink.’

Never Before

It has been alleged that this is their response to the question ‘Have you ever worked?’ But not by us. Oh dear me no.

SIDE 2

Smoke on the Water

Now – as any fule no – this is the riff that started a thousand air guitarists on their careers of greatness. Do people still do air guitaring? Mostly we notice that the hit parade is dominated by ‘Urban Hip Hop Artist and Spokesman Reveal’. Certainly one of the modern greats. But does one do air guitar to that? We hope so, we really do. 

On reflection, we would hate to think that the yoof of today (bless them) was being in any way cheated by hordes of sloganeering bandwagon jumping and talentless mouthpiece types jumping up and down with whistles to a nicked bass line. Sorry, sampled, we meant sampled.

Lazy

Glover and Paice start with some cod classicism – but it’s rather nice, isn’t it? Then the tension that builds up relaxes into yer basic, common or garden, twelve bar blues that we can all play on the Double Bass. We learnt it at school, remember? All together, now: One-Oh-Four-Oh-One-Oh–Four-Oh etc etc. We’re lazy, we stay in bed – hang on are we back at the carnival? Please say no go. Say no go.

Space Trucking

Yowsah – sorry – this is cool! Venus, we'll be having a ball on Mars. Naughty, gentlemen, very naughty – how long before - ahem - Uranus puts in an appearance? Let’s GO SPACE TRUCKING! It reminds us of Fireball XL5 and Mr and Mrs Spacespy. Oh the innocence. These tracks belong in a different time. 

And then – all finished – record all gone away - for another month or two. Boh.

Well we always finish by asking that SIMPLE question – what have we learnt this week, boys and girls? No mention of Uranus in that last track. Personally we feel, given all the recent carnivals, a wasted opportunity.

For a double entendre.

Oh, behave.